My sports allegiances, explained

I’ve gotten more than a few odd looks from folks wondering why I’m cheering for team X, when it seems clearly that I should be cheering for team Y. (Note that this is not a post about sexism. In retrospect, perhaps I should have used Greek letters instead of “X” and “Y” to designate the teams in question. Oh, if there were only keys on the keyboard that would allow you to “back up” and “delete” letters that you’ve already typed… )

Anyway, it’s quite simple. I cheer for the following, in descending priority order:

  1. NC State
  2. Any team that is currently playing UNC-Chapel Hill. This is WITHOUT EXCEPTION–if they’re playing Satan himself, I’ll be in the stands with a pitchfork. (Note that I did not just say “UNC” as that refers to both the University of Northern Colorado and the 16-campus University of North Carolina System.)
  3. East Carolina University. This one causes some consternation among my peers, but several family members (all the way back to my great-grandmother) went there.
  4. Any ACC team (other than UNC-Chapel Hill, obviously).
  5. Any team from North Carolina.
  6. Any team for whom a victory would irritate UNC-Chapel Hill fans. For example, the head basketball coach at the University of Texas is Rick Barnes. He and Dean Smith once got into a famous catfight, which caused many UNC-Chapel Hill fans to dislike him. Ergo, I now cheer for the University of Texas. At least as long as Rick Barnes is there.
  7. Technical schools from other states. Auburn University in Alabama is very similar to NC State; it’s a land-grant institution, and it has a fierce rivalry with the University of Alabama, a liberal arts school. Therefore, I will cheer for Auburn.
  8. Any team playing a liberal arts school from another state. I’m sure you’re still following the metaphor.

OK, so maybe it’s not that simple. And you might say I expend too much negative energy toward things baby blue. But such is my inheritance for being an NC State fan. And, think of the children, man, the children.